I want to DIVORCE my wife because she has...What your advise to me...

A brother  came  brandishing   the  scriptural text of  Matthew 19:9 , saying:  I caught my wife pant down  in adultery , the Lord authorizes me to divorce  her, she most go!!!

To begin with,This natural image below tries in one way or the other, to show us how God intended marriage to be. “The two shall become one... What therefore God has joined together, Let not man put asunder” (Mathew 19: 2 -12). Only death can do them apart.

To separate these two trees yoked together, will mean to destroy the two, because there is no way you will have to safely cut one and remove without hurting the other, and that is how the divorce of two persons yoked in marriage is. When you look at these two trees, you will understand that they are not death but living trees and that is why they are firmly yoked in each other.

But if one of them naturally dies from the roots, up to the stem, and branches, it will automatically dry off, broke and be separated from the other and therefore setting it free.

So let' come back to our central issue. Certainly this brother  is right because this text says:  “But   I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of UNFAITHFULNESS, commits adultery if he marries another woman”. Matthew 19:9

Yes, this is the written word (logos), but what is the Holy Spirit saying? Comes the question!  Yes, because the bible says: “The written code kills, but the Spirit gives life” 2^nd Corinthians 3:6.

A good illustration of this may come from the way Jesus handled this situation:

“Teacher, they said to Jesus “this woman was caught in the very act of committing adultery. In our Law Moses commanded that such a woman must be stoned to death. Now what do you say? ....The Lord Jesus Christ said "

From the case above,  there was a written code enforce,   authorizing the stoning of a woman caught in adultery to death, just like  the one  in Matthew 19:9 authorizing divorce in case of adultery.  Did he just say: Yes that is what is written, go ahead and stoned her to death? No, he turned for the spirit to lead him apply the written word. And what did the Spirit say? :

“Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her”.  And once more he bent down and writes on the ground. But when they heard it, they went away, one by one, beginning with the eldest; and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him. Jesus looked up and said to her; woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you? She said no one, Lord” And Jesus said “Neither do I condemn you; go, and do not sin again” (John 8: 4-11).

So from this case above, the brother brandishing the scriptures  as his weapon for divorce, is just like wanting to stone his wife to death because of adultery , which off course according to the  word of  God, he is authorized to. But we will exhort him to take this written word to Jesus, and present to him just like these people did and asked Him:   What do you say?  Certainly he may answer as he answered them, as follows:

1)      If you have never looked at a woman lustfully, then divorce her, for the bible says: “Whoever looks at a woman lustfully , has already committed adultery with her in his heart” Mat 5:27.  It could equally have been a woman wanting to use the text against his husband. If you put down your stone which is your  written word that you wanted to stoned her to death with(that is divorce), Jesus may then asked the woman: Has he not condemned you? No lord!!  The woman may say. And Jesus will tell her: Neither do I condemn you; go and do not sin again.

So the Lord is just warning us that   we must be very careful when we are using his written word in executing judgment. Be careful to execute judgment using his word without turning to him the supreme judge because he will judge us with the same measures you use to judge others.

So in this text the Lord was just like telling them who wanted to stone the woman to death on basis of the written Law: “  You have no excuse,  O man, whoever you are, when you judge another; for in passing judgment  upon him you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, are doing the very same things.” Romans 3:2.

So you may want to apply the written letter in executing judgment without the Spirit (Rhema) on another, and it leads you to death as said in 2^nd Corinthians 3:6.

2)      Have you forgiven her 490 times?  Or adultery is an exception to this scripture. To this the bible says:

 “Lord if my brother keeps on SINNING against me, how many times do I have to forgive him? Seven times?”  NO NOT seven Times Jesus answered, “BUT SEVENTY TIMES SEVEN, because the kingdom of God is like this......You worthless servant, “I FORGAVE you the whole amount you owed me, just because you asked me to. You should have had MERCY on your fellow servant, just as I had MERCY ON YOU’ the king was very angry and sent the servant to JAIL to be PUNISHED until he should pay back the whole amount. And Jesus concluded.” That is how my Father in heaven wills TREAT EVERYONE OF YOU UNLESS YOU FORGIVE YOUR BROTHER FROM YOUR HEART” Matthew 18:22-35.

  Yes for the Lord adds again: “For God will not show MERCY when he judges the person who has not been MERCIFUL: But MERCY triumphs over judgment” James 2:13.

Then,  biblically  too, if we were unbelievers before marriage and one happens with time to believe while the other not, we can send him or her away. To this the bible says:

…To the   rest I say not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she conceits to live with him, he should not divorce her. If any woman has a husband    who is an   unbeliever, (or believer who commits adultery)  and he consents to live with   her, she should not divorce him, for the unbelieving husband is made  acceptable to God  by being united to his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made acceptable to God by being united to her Christian husband .If   this was not so, their children would be like pagan children, but as  it  is, they are acceptable to God” (1 Corinthians 7:12-15)

An unbeliever is one who may be practicing among many other sins, adultery. Therefore if he consents to stay with us, we can’t  divorce her.  Be careful!! Our exhortations here are not in anyway  permitting  you to commit adultery because in the course of doing such wicked thing, death may meet you and you may not have time to repent and so go to hell fire.

So brethren we must be very, very careful when we are brandishing this text and using it for divorce.  If you persist against these explanations to go ahead and divorce, then you stay single without remarrying or be reconciled else God will use the two points above, to judge against you .

Since the fallen human being is always in quest for  varieties, our uncircumcised hearts might have been yearning for an occasion to experience  another marriage encounter somewhere; and therefore when an opportunity  point it’s head, we see it as golden, and so cease this scripture to  exploit and accomplish our goals.

The devil is seriously exploiting this text to use believers practice official prostitution in the assemble of God’s people. So that you see brethren jumping from one marriage to another on pretext of Matthew 19:9. Brethren you may have to come out in what you are calling “Marriage” at all price and all cost, for the salvation of your soul, if you are in such a situation (exploiting the text of Matthew for your selfish purposes).  We must understand that through the Holy Spirit, we are taken back to what God had intended from the beginning.

The Lord Jesus reminded us of this when he said “  From the beginning  God made them Male and female, and said, for this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one in flesh’?   So they are no longer two but two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no one put asunder....For hardness of your hearts, Moses allowed you divorce your wives..” Matthew 19:3-9.

SO WHEN  CAN WE  FREELY  APPLY  MATTHEW 19:9 ON DIVORCE,   AND  BE FREE TO  REMARRY WITHOUT BEING CONDEMNED BY THE TWO POINTS RAISED ABOVE? 

When we have clearly heard the Rhema(Spirit) of the LORD that , that one  committing adultery is in the situation  of    SIN  unto death, and can’t be  prayed for.  To this the bible says:

-“If any one sees his brother committing what is not a mortal sin, he will ask, and God will give him life for those whose sin is not mortal. There is sin which is mortal; I do not say that one is to pray for that.” (1John 5:16-17).  

“Therefore, I tell you, every sin and blasphemy against God will be forgiven men, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven” (Matthew 12:32).

WHAT DOES THIS REALLY MEAN   ?

This implies that, a brother or  sister, who has believed in Christ, tested of the  heavenly gift, and become partaker of the Holy Spirit, then  backslide in the world to be living a sinful life(perpetual adultery, etc), and the Rhema of God puts that one on the bench of  SIN unto death. You can then  freely apply Mat 19:9-divorce and send him or her away, or you leave, even if he or she still wants to live with you. Because as for SIN unto death, the bible says:

“For it is impossible to restore again to repentance those who have once been enlightened, who have once tested the heavenly gift, and have become partakers of the Holy Spirit, and have tested the goodness of the word of God and the power of the age to come, if they then commit apostasy, since they crucify the Son of God on their own account and hold Him up to contempt.’’ (Hebrew 6:4-7).

Therefore,  your partner with whom you got married  as unbelievers and now you have become   a believer while  he /she is still an unbeliever,  still has the chances of believing, and that  is why God says we should not divorce him or her, so long  as he still want us to be staying together. Even if he ends up not believing, there is no problem.

But  in the case of a believing partner, that one  has already believed, and God has discern that he or she cannot be restored and  so must not be prayed for, then  place him/her on the bench of  a SIN unto death, we  separate. If we continue to sexually yoke his temple to a declared corpse, after having clearly heard the Rhema (Spirit), then our spiritual life is in serious danger.  We cannot be more merciful than God.

      We must therefore be careful here to understand that, it is a very specific case of  two people who got married as unbelievers, and one has come to believes, while the other not. And not that a believer should go and married with an unbeliever with aim that he will believe. To do such, is TEMPTING GOD, because he is very clear on this:

“Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbeliever: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? Or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? For ye are the temple of the   living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people” (2 Corinthians 6:14-16) KJV

Can you imagine a believer who divorce his partner because of  adultery as may be claimed then goes and married and unbeliever  on pretext that he or she will change by manipulating the text of 1 Corinthians 7:12-15?  Ridiculous!!!  Real works of the devil and such is expected to pull out of such entanglement at all prices and at all cost!!!! Yes, putting God to the test.

And if your believing or unbelieving partner indulged in adultery decides to divorce or abandoned you for his or her sinful life, you are free to remarry.

Look brethren, we must be careful not to teach people to live a lawless life in Christ, for their own very destruction. The bible says:

“Let not many of you become TEACHERS, my brethren, for you know that we who TEACH shall be JUDGED with greater strictness” James 3:1.

The act of mere TEACHING, is different from a TEACHER as specific calling (Ephesians 4:11). I’m not proudly saying that I’m a teacher, but exhorting that, as a teacher, I have discovered that God has given to Teachers, a special capacity to explicitly understand and explain his word in a very comprehensive manner, from Genesis to Revelation without any contradiction.